Today I'm wearing Indult Rêve en Cuir, the one Chandler Burr gave five stars in the New York Times, but sounded like he wanted to give twenty stars. It's definitely leather. Yep, that it is. And, like the other Indults I tried, it's surprisingly sweet. It's entirely pleasant and I want to emphasize that. But I also want to emphasize my arm smells like a recliner. And I don't know how I feel about that.
Here's the conflict: I like the smell of leather but I don't quite like it on me. And I definitely don't like the added sweetness, in Rêve en Cuir and in most masculine colognes. Sweet male scents always seem a little sleazy to me, not inherently sleazy but sleazy by association. I can't help imagining some guy in a suit trying to snuggle up to his secretary after a couple martinis.
The kind of guy about whom my father would say, "I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him." (My father was an utterly unostentatious man who wore overalls and Irish Spring, but because he owned a large wholesale nursery, he'd occasionally have to trouble himself with men in suits.)
I wonder if this is why young men favor those empty aquatics, because they don't want to smell like sleazy old guys. That's the best defense I have for empty aquatics. That it's an intellectual defense surprises even me.
When it comes to leather scents, I think I prefer the more modern synthetic ones, like S-ex or Etat Libre d'Orange Rien. Neither is sweet in the least and because they both smell so new, they don't relate to any of the men my father knew not to like.
Of course, none of this is the fault of Rêve en Cuir. It's a fine fragrance and Chandler Burr isn't off his rocker for loving it (he's off his rocker for loving Britney Spears Midnight Fantasy), but I'm just not a Rêve en Cuir man. My father would be proud.
Rêve en Cuir: I didn't understand this one. It was over my head. I need to revisit it.
I'm surprised Rêve en Cuir was over your head. Are you sure it wasn't under your head? Or beneath your feet? It's not all that complex. It's a slightly sweet leather and that's all. At $250, I wouldn't recommend revisiting it before you've made a billion dollars and decide you want to own everything.
Got this message on YouTube:
"I'll only watch your channel if you tell me what your favorite masculine scent is. Thanks.”
I immediately thought, "Oh goody, a perfume challenge! I'll bet this guy's a Creed nerd. I should probably say some Creed thing. Or Lalique Encre Noire."
For more intel, I Googled him, and up came this comment of his on Cubby's “Fragrance Talk" YouTube channel:
"Can't you review Encre Noire by Lalique or maybe Silver Mountain Water by Creed?”
So there ya go.
Smelling Silver Mountain Water back when it came out practically turned me off the whole line with its sneezy charmlessness. Anyway, I don't know what to tell this fellow. I'm not sure what my favorite masculine scent is. Maybe Divine L'Homme Sage? Bulgari Black? Ormonde Jayne Ormonde Man? Christian Dior Eau Sauvage? Old Spice?
Anyway, my real answer is: my favorite masculine scent is not a perfume -- it's the man. I really only want to smell the man. If it's my man, that is. All other men can wear what they like. As long as it's not Silver Mountain Water.
People are predictable, aren't they? I have a theory that there are only nine or ten people in the whole world and the rest of us are just duplicates. Well, not a serious theory. Still, there does seem to be a lot of repetition.
You could call his bluff and say you'll only tell him your favorite masculine if he tells you his favorite feminine first. But don't say Silver Mountain Water. That was one of the Creeds I tried and found it entirely charmless, too. There's something blankly masculine about all those Creeds. Like the only thing you can gather from them is, "Yep, this was definitely made for a man."
I'm wearing Chanel Coromandel tonight and loving myself! Tell him Coromandel and fuck with his head.
One of my viewers tells me she sneakily puts Coromandel on her husband's undershirts when he's not around, so he unwittingly wears it.
I know what you mean about loving yourself in Coromandel. Putting on that perfume makes you complete. Like you're in the best relationship ever, and it's with yourself.
Fumies -- which perfume completes you?