Perfume Pen Pals: Tom Ford Private Blend Noir de Noir



Dan,

I was in Beverly Hills today, checking in on all my little perfume beauties, and ended up smelling like a walking version of Frederic Malle's beloved map. I was wearing discrete blobs of Une Fleur de Cassie, Guerlain Mitsouko, and Tom Ford Private Blend Noir de Noir. Here's what I can tell you:

Noir de Noir smells like clown perfume. It's ridiculous. It might as well have a big red nose on it, when smelled next to something as composed and assured as Mitsouko or Une Fleur de Cassie. Noir de Noir is the equivalent of polka dots on a rayon neck ruffle.

But last week, I loved it. Oh my God. I am turning into George Clooney. With a new perfume girlfriend on my arm every week.

What do you think of Mitsouko? I keep circling it, thinking someday I'll own it. It's such a distinctive scent, don't know if I feel comfortable in it. I want to try the parfum, see if that "melts in" better.

Katie


Katie,

I like Mitsouko very much and have a large sample of it. It's easily my favorite of the three Guerlain warhorses I've tried. But, like you, I can't quite pull the trigger. It's like never getting around to buying Dark Side of the Moon, and at some point, too much time passes.

You could reincarnate Babe Paley as your new best perfume friend and excitedly tell her you just bought Mitsouko, and she'd laugh and say her mother wore Mitsouko. Babe Paley's mother!

But I bet both of us could pull it off. It's chipper and woody. Perfumes aren't like skinny jeans. We can all wear everything and if we believe, everyone will believe.

Okay, that last paragraph was bullshit. I don't believe a word of it. I just sprayed on the Mitsouko edp and I smell like Babe Paley's mother.

“Noir de Noir is the equivalent of polka dots on a rayon neck ruffle.”


I have no idea what this means. Why don't I know what this means?

Dan


Dan,

You're right on the money about Mitsouko/Babe Paley's mother. Mitsouko is both deep and hip, but it's 1930's hip. Which is achingly hip. (I spent a delightful week last summer reading Noel Coward's first autobiography, Present Indicative, and that cat was where it was at. I wanted to crawl into that book and that world.) But I don't quite believe myself when I wear Mitsouko.

My Noir de Noir comment referred to the ruffle clowns wear around their neck to jazz up their outfit.

Katie


Katie,

I understand what a rayon neck ruffle is, Katie. I'm not a chimp. I just don't understand the relationship between it and the polka dots and you and the clown and Noir de Noir. Is Noir de Noir the polka dots, or is it the whole ruffle? Would the ruffle be less ridiculous without the polka dots? Or is Noir de Noir the whole clown? Or are you saying you're a clown when you wear Noir de Noir, and Noir de Noir is the clown suit? I'm being purposely difficult. Ignore me. (But I still don't understand.)

Dan


OK, Chimpy, I started off saying Noir de Noir was a clown perfume, which could both mean a perfume worn by clowns, as well as the clown of the perfume world. I liked the ambiguity. But then I seemed to saying it was a clown, by writing it should wear a red nose. And then I went away from that literal image to suggest that it was vulgar and slapstick by likening it to a loud-patterned ruffle made of cheap fabric, as opposed to something hand-painted on silk, for instance. So it was a tap-dance around a cluster of clown-oriented images. Is that enough explaining for ya?

Katie


Katie,

Your Noir de Noir clown explanation is more confusing than a course in advanced genetics. You know that, right? Because if you don't know that, then I'm going to insist you post the entire thing on your blog and let the readers decide. You basically say it's a clown perfume, a clown of the perfume world, a literal clown, as well as part of a clown's costume. And that's you clarifying things!

I still say it smells like chocolate. But then what do I know?

Dan


Dan,

Yes, I'm saying Noir de Noir is all of those clown things. The description is a Cubist painting. It's a "Nude Descending a Staircase" of an explanation. It's a Bozo wrapped inside a Ronald McDonald. Oh why can't you see that?

And yes, Noir de Noir smells like chocolate. Cheap, clowny chocolate. And like a clown made of chocolate.

Katie


Katie,

The more you clarify, the more muddied things get. It's like trying to clean a dirty mirror with a dirty rag. A dirty funhouse mirror with clowns around the edges. And chocolate on the glass from kids' fingers. In this scenario, your clarification is neither the mirror nor the chocolate (nor the clowns, nor the children, nor the rag), it's the attempt at cleaning. Your clarification is not a thing, but rather an action. A funny failed action.

Dan


Dan,

It is not failed! It is successful! It's fun with words! Talking about Noir de Noir isn't a mathematics proof. It's playfulness. So stick that in your Mitsouko and sniff it.

Katie


Katie,

Did I say failed? Oh my. That was wrong. Because I eventually understood what you were saying. Noir de Noir is silly. It's everything silly. It's clowny. I get it. Although I disagree with you. I think Noir de Noir is nice.

(Though I've only worn it three times and, like you, I reserve the right to change my mind.)

Dan

20 comments:

  1. I will take Mitsouko over Noir de Noir any day. I get some sort of astrigent gourmandy patch blast from the latter. If I recall properly, which I'm not sure that I do. I just remember that I didn't like it and I think that it singed my nose hairs.

    I am quite sure however, that I am nothing like Babe Paley's mother. Nor do I think that I am 1930's hip. But what I really want is to hear your explanation of why Mitsouko smells like Babe Paley's mother. Maybe I'm not hip enough to imagine this myself. Could you enlighten/confuse me?

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  2. Ha-ha -- now it's your chance to get in a muddle over an overblown metaphor, Dan. The gauntlet is thrown, and we await your response!

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  3. melisand61: Tom Ford is tops when it comes to singed nose hairs, so I'm guessing you remember it correctly. As for the rest, because Babe came into her own as a socialite in the 1940s-50s, I simply surmised that even she might have thought Mitsouko "old-fashioned." But what do I know? The closest I've come to palling around with either Babe Paley or her mom is reading Fitzgerald alone in rooms (i.e. not very close). This perfume business is all conjecture. And faith. And, for me, the first obviously comes more easily than the second. Which is why we're all in this mess with Babe Paley. Rest assured, Mitsouko is outstanding and I bet you smell great. Babe Paley's mother would be proud of the association. And also relieved that she wasn't linked to "the clown perfume" instead.

    Truman Capote said, "Babe Paley had only one fault: she was perfect. Otherwise, she was perfect." Might we say the same thing about Mitsouko?

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  4. Yes, I've read the Truman Capote quote and the same could be said about Mitsouko. Now I'm a little afraid to wear it. I might be forced to revamp my wardrobe, stop cursing and see a cosmetic surgeon. Although not necessarily in that order. Maybe I'll just switch to vintage Femme. Wrong decade, but I won't feel so compelled to drop the f-word from my vocabulary.

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  5. "Truman Capote said, "Babe Paley had only one fault: she was perfect. Otherwise, she was perfect." Might we say the same thing about Mitsouko?"

    Yes! A thousand times, Yes!

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  6. Vintage Femme, melisand61? Tell me more! I was revisiting Femme at Fortnum & Mason's in London the other day (just love to throw that in there, now that I'm back in LA), and remembered how I recoiled in revulsion when I first smelled it in the 90s.

    Now it seems like full, rich, womanly peachy-plummy chypre, full of knowingness. No back-of-the-throat upchucking this time around. So now I'm curious to hear how the vintage compares to the current Femme.

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  7. No heavy cumin-y note in the vintage. A velvety chypre richness, especially in the parfum and the pdt. The edc is stunning too, less rich, but very vibrant.

    Modern is fruity, spicy cumin, still very nice, but missing (perhaps) the quality oakmoss base? The vintage comes in a number of different concentrations, all a bit different, all beautiful. All begging to be collected and hoarded.

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  8. "Velvety chypre richness" - now that's something I can get behind! The fellow at the Roja Dove boutique in Harrod's was making a comparison between Femme and The Party in Manhattan, which I'd never considered, but thought apt. The Party in Manhattan also reminds me of Acqua di Parma Profumo. Neither of those are cuminy, so I wonder if they harken back to Femme in it's original state?

    I re-read what I've just written and must conclude that I am a nerd.

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  9. I think I blathered on about this same topic on somebody's blog a while ago. I can't remember who started the discussion. Only I was waxing poetic about similarities between Jubilation 25, The Party and AdP Profumo. I love all three, although I find the AdP to have been altered a little in its current state.

    Actually, I believe that Femme followed Profumo, which originally came out in 1930. So, we technically can't say that they all harken back to Femme.

    I don't want to re-read what I just wrote. I'll probably have to delete myself, or at least my post.

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  10. Ah yes, m61, Jubilation 25 - definitely retro-fabulous, but to my nose more on the Diorella tip than the others. But certainly filled to the brim with animalic nutrition. So many perfumes - not enough parties!

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  11. "And then I went away from that literal image to suggest that it was vulgar and slapstick by likening it to a loud-patterned ruffle made of cheap fabric".

    I got this right away! And totally rolled with the whole clown imagery mishmash tap-dance thing. I think Dan may need to lighten up.

    By contrast, I had to google Babe Paley - she may be a pearl-festooned socialite, but she doesn't travel well.

    : - )

    Katie, did you speak to the very helpful Ann(e) in Fortnum & Mason's? I have never met her in person, but we had a long chat on the phone about maceration the other day.

    As for the scents that are the topic of the post in hand (somewhere, deep, deep down), I have tried Noir de Noir and it was too dark for me - or maybe dank - I don't know, but I remember it as vaguely Czech & Speakey, not in a good way.

    Mitsouko is dentist's mouthwash on me, but soft and peachy on my friend Clare.

    Femme (of any vintage) is rank and scary on me, or on anyone within 50 paces.

    And I remain highly anomalous in my wholesome take on The Party.

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  12. PS Sorry - have read back that comment and the part about the phone chat sounds unintentionally louche. The SA at F & M was helping me to understand why a particular scent might not smell as expected. Now even F & M looks louche!

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  13. Oh yes, flittersniffer, that disreputable Fortnum & Mason's with their vulgar SAs! Once you get them started on maceration, it's a quick slide to mastication, and then it's all downhill from there!

    Oh, and regarding Dan's doggedness on parsing "clown perfume" - you know how he likes to go the extra mile for a joke. I just wouldn't want to face off against him in courtroom - not with his filibustering skills.

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  14. I was only kidding about Dan's "word worrying".
    : - ) And I for one am grateful that people still parse. If parsing was taught in schools today, the apostrophe wouldn't be in such disarray!

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  15. If, next year, the folks at Demeter come out with a "Clown" or "Bozo" fragrance, then that shall confirm they are avid readers of this site. As well they should be, its hugely entertaining.

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  16. I don't know about Dan but I thought the clown ruffle/polka dot metaphor was pretty clever...

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  17. Score another for the Clown! Thanks, Mark.

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  18. I am seriously laughing XD!!! Katie, I am not a true fumey, as I am allergic to most scent, but since reading your blog and watching your videos, I am revisiting some possibilities.

    Your writing is so creative and vivid. Your intellect has a puckish quality (ha) that I love! I am so happy to have found your blog :) Thanks to you. Smell on!

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    Replies
    1. Nancy! Your plaudits have put pep in my step. Thank you!

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