Today I'm wearing Dior's new La Collection Leather Oud. But the cats think I'm wearing Le Labo Oud 27. And cats know their smells. I sprayed it once and we all agree it was too much.
Overzealous application of Dior Leather Oud earns you two paws' worth of claws in the head.
And yet Dior only sells Leather Oud in 8.5 ounce bottles (tubs? tanks?). That's like selling Everclear Big Gulps.
Everclear in the water bowl makes Charlotte and Audrey feel extra huggy.
It's a potent stanky animalic oud, and I blame it for my pneumonia relapse, no matter what the doctor says.
Gosh! Lay off the Leather Oud, the marathon dating, everything except therapeutic kitty petting.
These new Diors are putting me to sleep. Vétiver is vetiver, Cologne Royale is a boring Eau de Cologne, and Milly-La-Forêt smells like a Woolite flanker (does Woolite have flankers?).
Only New Look 1947 caught my attention so far, and only because it's one of those old-fashioned, full-bodied perfumes that makes me yearn for a girlfriend. Or when I have a girlfriend, it makes me yearn for a different girlfriend, or a girlfriend from a different era, because no woman my age wears perfumes like this anymore. It's like coming across a beautiful corset: what use is it?
Aside from New Look, I'm bored with Dior and so today I grabbed a bag of samples, reached in, and pulled out L'Artisan Parfumeur Mechant Loup. And Mechant Loup said, "Dude, you have no idea what boring is until you've worn me."
And it turns out Mechant Loup doesn't lie. I couldn't remember what it smelled like five seconds after I smelled it. I kept smelling and forgetting, smelling and forgetting. It's the Millard Fillmore of perfumes.
Millard Fillmore...or Alec Baldwin on a rough day?
I'm meeting a woman for a walk along the waterfront tomorrow, and I'm going to wear Portrait of a Lady. What do you think of them apples?
Funnily enough, today I was amply perfumed by the cloud of Portrait of a Lady that still lingers on the coat I was wearing when I first tried it at Barneys in December. And I just got another compliment on it! A compliment on a two-month-old leftover cloud.
I wonder what your waterfront lady's going to make of you tomorrow. She should check herself in two months' time for a leftover cloud of you.
Charlotte & Audrey via Dan Rolleri