Fumes in the News: Who is Scentbitch?



Every fumehead is familiar with the wash of ennui that hardens like the glaze of a day-old doughnut across the faces of civilians bored by your perfume natterings. No, normal people emphatically do not care that Chanel No. 5 is about to be reformulated beyond all recognition, that Ormonde Jayne is about to launch a new collection, that the whisky accord is the new oud.

Even more dispiriting is the catatonically-frozen fish eye of apathy triggered by your desire to indulge in perfume bitching. Bitching so insider-baseball that even baseball players don't care. I've lucked out with my kvetching partner Dan Rolleri, for whom no fragrance trivia is too trivial. I pass along a portion of our gossipy squabbles in regular Perfume Pen Pals installments here on Katie Puckrik Smells, but seek to temper the needle with reviews and news, the odd fact and figure. Y'know, just to make sure we're all getting our vegetables.

Here's where scentbitch comes in. scentbitch is a kicky new blog that is nothin' but the needle, a foil-covered TV dinner tray piled high with delicious, give-me-more-Mom empty calories. It's filled with acid, cranky commentary on fumiverse archetypes: fragrance blogger cliches, cynical perfume marketing, and trainspotter-esque Creed lovers.


A Creed fan expresses pleasure at the launch of Aventus body products.
Here's scentbitch on the relaunch of the "inexplicably lusted after" A*Men Pure Malt by Thierry Mugler:
Fanboys immediately masturbated themselves into a frenzy. No news yet whether eBayers will say they have intentionally reformulated it, to create an even bigger buzz about the original and keep the return on their “investments”.
I don't know who's behind scentbitch, if s/he's an established blogger or a spiky new voice on the scene. Whatever the case, they're as mad as hell and they're not gonna take this anymore.
Or if not exactly mad, then at least mildly piqued. Who is scentbitch, and what will SB's next targets be? Image via

36 comments:

  1. I hope scentbitch does a review of your blog.

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  2. I just had a brainwave that scentbitch could be one of Grant Osborne's multiple personalities.

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  3. I disagree with scentbitch on one thing: the Nicki Minaj perfume bottle is a tacky delight.

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    1. I thought that was a misfire as well. Excess to that degree of bonkers-ness is to be commended.

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    2. I can't wait to see that bottle in person!

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  4. Oh my stars! I love it and I had to come clean and plead guilty to one of the fragrance blogger cliches. Yes number three. I just can't keep the purple out of my prose! Thanks Katie for enlightening me to this very entertaining blog. It is a refreshing kick in the head like just like Knize Ten. Oh... see I did it again.

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    1. Lanier, why bother putting fingers to keypad if the perfume prose isn't even the slightest tinge of lavender? It's not a medical report, it's an ecstatic sigh of come-to-mama surrender to the potions that beam you into your exalted, supernatural self.

      Whoops. It's a cliche for a reason...

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    2. I love you Katie! There isn't enough purple ink in the world to write that to you. I am changing the background color on my blog to purple too. Thanks!!

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  5. on another note the dude who had the choo choogasm sounds alot like the voice from duckjob...someone needed to get him a towel.

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    1. I wonder if the train guy knows the double rainbow guy . . . :-)

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  6. I like ridiculously over-the-top prose. Go big or go home.

    --Nora

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  7. whoever he/she is they sound scary and hostile *stays away from internet*

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    1. Oh jeez, how many times have I suffered from hostility-induced I.D.S. (Internet Dread Syndrome)? Some days it's hard to just to crack open my laptop.

      Then I remind myself "I need to toughen up a bit":

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-b7d48eA8M

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    2. omg that is the cutest video i have ever seen

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    3. I'm hiring her as my life coach.

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  8. Love that new blog and am an immediate follower! Just laughed and laughed at Perfume Review Cliches after running to the sink to scrub a sample of a new perfume from a not-to-be-named by me source. It must be my skin chemistry (or the perfume just plain stinks!). Thanks again, Katie, for another exceptionally entertaining post.

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    1. Carol, I've been applying vernacular forensics to scentbitch's posts, and while the use of "whilst" points to an anglo person, "over in the UK" seems to indicate someone outside the UK, which could mean an Aussie or Kiwi. Or scentbitch could be throwing us off the, er...scent by deliberately mixing up the slanguage.

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    2. Oh man, I missed that line. You are a much better sleuth than me. (In the 'about me' part, s/he/they used 'mental' and then yesterday's use of 'advert' which I how I thought British.) Hmm, tricky tricky that one. Where's Sherlock?

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    3. "Mental", "advert" and "whilst" point to Anglo for sure.

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  10. hey Katie thanks for turning us on once again to something fun and wonderful. Is there ever too much talk about fragrance..i don't think so but I have seen the glaze come over my friends eyes ...lol..but they have bought what I turned them on too...:) a big bit of love from Mirabelle and I.

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    1. Hi M&M - haha, glaze can turn to the goo of gushing delight if a civilian "gets it" with that one special scent that makes them go "ah HA".

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  11. It is all about fun, which is good.
    The only thing I think it is bothering me is that although anonymous, one must complete personal data to comment. Seems not fair to me:-). Anonymous blogs seek freedom of speech, so go free all the way and let people respond whatever they like without signing their names.

    I liked the content, but I don't like the idea of the anonymity... Leave rooms to unethical behavior. That is the lawyer in me speaking...
    I believe that some issues need this anonymity, such as a person disclosing sensitive issues to the public, in let's say, a country where there is no freedom of speech. If s/he would face danger by disclosing the name. Here sounds more like hiding behind anonymity to avoid having confrontation.
    But the perfume industry is not yet contracting hitmen...so I don't exactly understand the reason not to sign one's opinions (Which by the way are funny and welcomed)
    I have mentioned in the past that a certain perfume does not work for me as a polite way of not saying it is pure trash, but not because I don't get it. I also have sometimes trouble with EDP. Some EDT versions sometimes work better for me when the EDP concentration seems to sink instead of fully developing and blooming... So I do mention sometimes that it did not work on my skin...guilty as charged and signed!

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  12. Scentbitch is very refreshing, I've bookmarked the blog! It's true that the perfume blogosphere has gotten so danged cozy that no one feels comfortable saying the "Perfume of the Month", hyped by Several Chic Bloggers, created by hot perfumer X, sold by hot niche line Y, actually kinda sucks. Or only lasts 4 minutes, or is hopelessly hyped and overpriced, or whatever. We've all gotten to know each other far too well and can no longer bear to offend! So the Scentbitch came into the room to set us straight....

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  13. Ohhh,freshly made snark. Yummy!! My favorite.

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  14. 'Carmelized Pear' (Nicki Minaj - list of notes) would indicate an American, who posts on the MakeupAlley Food Board. If she ever uses 'dialated', we'll know she also posts on the Family Board. LOL!

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    1. But maybe scentbitch cut and pasted those notes, in which case the spelling isn't a clue. The mystery continues...

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  15. I recently found ScentBitch again Googling for something and thought of digging deeper. A small WHO.IS look up leads to GoDaddy, looks like the registrant is in Scottsdale, AZ. Mystery solved? No, but guess the ball is back in your side of the pond. The plot thickens...

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