Perfume Pen Pals: Comme des Garcons Eau de Parfum

Katie,

What of this new Comme des Garçons Eau de Parfum? Did you try that one? It seems like it might smell like Cumming.

Dan

Dan,

The new CdG in the bottle that looks like a deflated hospital fluids bag? Yup, cool packaging, but approach with caution.

I missed Cumming in its mainstream release (peat and wet dog, I remember the description being), but unless Cumming smelled like swimming pool chlorine dried on the skin, it doesn't smell like CdG EdP. Oh wait -- was Cumming supposed to be semen-y? "They" say semen smells like chlorine, so I guess there would be a similarity of concept in that case. CdG EdP isn't pretty, but it won't make you retch like Sécrétions Magnifiques.

Katie

Katie,

Yes, Cumming is supposed to smell like whiskey, leather, cigars and sex, but it mostly smells like chlorinated plastic. (Believe it or not, I don't mean that as a criticism. It's probably my favorite Christopher Brosius fragrance.) It's both clean and odd, and it came to mind when I was reading about the new CdG.

I prefer CdG's weirder perfumes. When they play it safe, the perfume is inevitably some boring, woody thing. I wore Garage today and felt so disappointed that it was discontinued. With all the perfumes in the world, we couldn't support this odd little gem?

Dan

Dan,

Well, "chlorinated plastic" sounds like the perfect description of the new CdG.

Katie

Katie,

Okay, I'm wearing Comme des Garcons Eau de Parfum. (And it smells nothing like Cumming. It makes Cumming smell warm and almost normal by comparison.) The curious thing about CdG EdP is not only that it smells like brown Scotch tape, but that you can't possibly identify it as smelling like brown Scotch tape until you read that it smells like brown Scotch tape. Before that, I didn't know what the hell was going on. It's the perfume equivalent of watching a Buñuel film: you need a seminar to tell you what you're smelling, and even then it makes no sense. (I studied film for years and I still can't tell you why that Un Chien Andalou fellow sliced that poor woman's eyeball.)

The bottle is melting, the perfume smells like tape, wearing it makes me feel anxious and isolated, and I'm just not convinced surrealism is compatible with fragrance. And yet I want to support CdG, at least conceptually, and not sound like those grumpy people who constantly grieve over change and insist everything peaked precisely when they came of age. Hell, I came of age on Drakkar Noir, so I have no nostalgic connection to my perfume past.

But whatever defense I extend to the concept, I can't quite defend the smell. I smell like brown Scotch tape. Why do I smell like brown Scotch tape? "Why" is the wrong approach to surrealism, I know, but it's the only question that comes to mind when I'm wearing this perfume. Why am I wearing this perfume? Why do I smell like this? Why can't I resist my instinct to always buy the most avant-garde thing on the shelf? When the most avant-garde thing on the shelf so often leads to unhappiness? Why do I resist happiness? Is it because I see it as facile and I'm still determined to get to the bottom of Buñuel? Maybe I should take another class. Or more therapy.

When you tried this, did you actually spray it on your person? I bet not. Contrary to my instincts, you seem like you possess a healthy hesitancy when it comes to smelling like tape.

Dan