Justin Bieber Someday


The day I scored my sample of Someday, the fragrance fronted by teen-scream-dream-hot-lesbian-hairdo-on-a-stick Justin Bieber, I was in a Sephora swarming with wild-eyed 11 year olds. Several moms were bringing in groups of girls for a tween day out, and the kids were busy inventing unholy new applications for Nars Night Porter eyeshadow, Orgasm blush, and Vulva lipgloss. (Okay, so there's not really a Vulva lipgloss...not yet, anyway.) In a gleefully sinister ritual straight out of a 70s horror movie, the girls were gathered around one of the mothers, intently coloring in her face as she knelt obediently in the aisle. “Make her lips black!” shrieked one of the would-be Suspiria extras. “Put that bright green on her cheeks!” squealed another.
Then everything went a bit Lord of the Flies as they turned on each other, scribbling and smearing chaotic shades all over their playmates' faces. Glitter, bronzer, blusher knew no boundaries as flawless kiddy complexions became banshee patchwork quilts. “Oh girls...girls! Girls!” came the voice of an intervening angel, in her earthly form as the Sephora sales associate. Banshee patchwork faces turned expectantly towards the angel. Might she be next in line for black lips and green cheeks? “Girls...” trilled the angel. “Who wants to smell Justin Bieber's perfume?” She held the purple bottle aloft, poised to spritz. In the hush that descended as the kids processed this miraculous possibility, you could practically hear the demons whooshing back to their brimstone lair. “Justin Bieber!” the girls cried as one. “Me me me me me me me meeeeeeeee!” They stampeded away from the scrawled-upon mom, clamoring for their individual Bieber benediction. The angel obliged, spraying every little girl with a purifying burst of buttery caramel popcorn, berries and white musk. As the tweens softly oohed and cooed in their communion with the Bieb, the black-lipped mom smiled gratefully at the angel.
Loving Justin hurts so good.
Someday is available from Sephora and Amazon, starting at $18 for .34 oz
Looking for a fragrance recommendation? Visit Fume Finder: the Katie Puckrik Smells fragrance app.
Sobbing Bieb-ettes via eject

23 comments:

  1. Katie, thanks for giving me my first laugh of the day, you've painted such a vivid scene! With this in mind, I will avoid going anywhere near Sephora with my god-daughter and her kid sister...
    As for the scent, can't comment, as far as I know it hasn't reached Paris. Very few celebrity perfumes here: I think I've only ever seen SJP Lovely.

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  2. Denyse - gosh, you're right. Now that you mention it, I didn't see any celeb cash-ins at Paris Sephoras. Now I know why they had room for Guerlain's entire line (including the fancy-pants exclusive stuff) and every iteration of Hypnotic Poison I never knew existed.

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  3. Very funny indeed! Can you imagine driving that gaggle of tweens home in the mini-van? Maybe they would be narcotized into silence, but the smell would linger for weeks.

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  4. I would call his Fragrance GAG. I don't quite get the popularity of that child. I saw him sign live on a show and I realized..it was not about his singing talent.

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  5. KP,

    What does the fragrance world NEED at the moment?

    I'm toying with the idea of concocting my own frag, which I hope will be strange & surprising at the same time, and as far removed from Someday & its ilk as is olfactorily possible!

    It'll be a limited edition of 100 bottles, and is in an out-of-this-world sci-fi kind of bottle that I've already designed :P

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  6. Hooray! You're back & hilarious. You must observe this photo of Bieber & some heartsick fans:
    http://kellyoxford.tumblr.com/post/11917363179

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  7. onesmalldog - actual singing talent is often peripheral for pop stars.

    m61 - choose your minivan smell: Someday, or a bouquet of Little Trees hanging off the rear view mirror.

    DomPerrier - good on ya for getting your creative mojo rolling. Although I think "strange and surprising" is increasingly well covered in the niche world: from Byredo M/Mink to Lutens Tubereuse Criminelle. What I do think the fragrance world NEEDS are more beautiful perfumes without vanilla.

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  8. Thank you, nosygirl, for the tip-off on that perfect photo, which I've now added to the post.

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  9. I think this may be your best review ever! I truly felt I was there, slowly backing away from the hysteria but unable to look away...

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  10. Thanks amber_j. Those tweens united in hysteria were a powerful force!

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  11. KP, I have Tubereuse Criminelle, which I agree can be strange & surprising to others ,but is merely strange but alluring to me lol.

    Point noted about the vanilla.

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  12. Kinda sad there isn't a vulva lipgloss lol :0) xxxJoolsxxx

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  13. Me/Jools, I'm confident it will come to pass.


    DomPerrier, one man's surprising is another man's alluring.

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  14. I just can't get past the bottle. It's deeply offensive.

    Did you think we wouldn't notice, Biebs, or was it supposed to be an "homage"?

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  15. Spike, I'm really surprised Someday hasn't been hit with a lawsuit from Marc Jacobs Lola. The bottle similarity is reminiscent of the Twilight/Nina Ricci Nina hoo-ha, and the Ricci peeps made sure Twilight went out of business for aping their apple bottle.

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  16. Oh, that photo... that photo. Oh, those little girls. I have one about that age, possibly a bit older, who would NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD anywhere near the Biebs (who, I must say, seems relatively harmless) or his fragrance.

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  17. I love how those girls are wrecked by their lovelorn hysteria, but bravely trying to "smile" for the photo.

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  18. Ok, so I don't have a teenage girl, but I have a 14 year-old teenage boy. Based on your review and your app's recommendation, I bought him Hanae Mori in at attempt to push him into fragrance refinement. It didn't work - he asked for his Axe body spray back! I imagine the girls buying Bieber are exactly the same way - it's a brand - not a scent - that lures them in. Probably for the same reason that I doused myself in the original Fendi in college in the 1980s and the original Chole in jr. high (which in retrospect were both gaggingly cloying). But at least I steered toward European designers!

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  19. Steffee, that's a shame about the Hanae Mori - it's a great one for teenage guys (or indeed any guy). He might come around to it, though, just give him time. I would have adored HM at 14, but different strokes, right?

    Re: Bieber, I couldn't pick Someday out of a lineup, but I'm nowhere near the target audience. It's inoffensive, though, and the bottle, despite being a screaming ripoff of Lola, is perfect for catching a tween girl's eye (and her mother's wallet). Props to Biebs and his team for a business bulls-eye.

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  20. Katie -- The Marc Jacobs people considered a lawsuit, but the bad PR they would have garnered by both suing Justin Bieber + depriving a charity of $$$ just wasn't worth it.

    They certainly voiced their displeasure over the "homage", however.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/beauty/article-1393260/Justin-Bieber-wont-sued-Marc-Jacobs-copycat-fragrance-bottle.html

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  21. Steffee, well, you gave it the ol' college try. But younger teens are horrified by the notion of not fitting in, and not smelling of pre-approved Axe must seem like some crazy kamikaze move. Like Darryl said, maybe he'll come back around to it.


    Nathan, thanks for the lawsuit clarifications. Yeah, I'm sure Marc J didn't have the appetite to come off like the Grinch who stole Christmas by suing the glossy moptop.

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  22. Not long after watching your review of "Someday" I was having a post Thanksgiving day chat with my mother-in-law and she mentioned that she had smelled her niece's bottle of Bieber juice and she was surprised that she liked the way that it smelled on her skin. Apparently after she went through "the change" the womanly fragrances that she used to prefer just didn't agree with her new chemistry and created the scent of dirty laundry. Perhaps it is only those who lack natural musk that can wear "Someday".

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  23. That's very interesting, Suzanne. It hadn't occurred to me that menopause would affect how perfume wears on the skin. This is useful information, and now I want to look into this a bit more.

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