Perfume Pen Pals: Bond No. 9 Silver Factory (Part Two)



Dan,

I've just covered myself in a fine-yet-firm misting of Bond No. 9 Silver Factory. So far, the incense doesn't put me in mind of Comme des Garçons Avignon at all. The iris and gas station gumball machines (both the metal and glass dispensers as well as the dusty candy within) in there take care of that.
This does smell "artificial", but I'm thinking it's "artificial on purpose". An Andy Warhol-style commentary on the inherent beauty of mass-produced items.

A while back I was in a paint store, and a fellow working there complimented me on the fragrance. And if Silver Factory can cut through the toxic fumes he must be smelling every day of his life, you know it's doing something.

The reason I mention his compliment is that he seemed astonished at himself for even noticing a perfume, and at being moved enough to ask what it was. He was sort of apologetic, as if he were intruding by inquiring about something so intimate. It wasn't like it was one of his stock moves, like a Hooters waitress making you feel special for tips.

Silver Factory is smelling nice on me now! Oh, and I like the bottle.

Katie



Oh Katie, sweet little Katie Puckrik, let me tell you about The Rule of the Plaid Pants. A fellow, let's call him Jerry, wears plaid pants to work, garish turquoise and mustard things made out of some unnatural no-wrinkle businessman fabric. And Jerry's wife, let's call her Irene, begs Jerry to put on some Dockers instead. Or even stay home, take a mental-health day. Anything but the plaid pants.



But Jerry's oblivious, so he pays his wife no heed and strides right out of the house in his plaid pants. And the reaction at work is unanimous. "Hey Jerry, great pants!"

Because what the hell else can anyone say? Jerry's wearing fucking plaid pants. So you say, "great pants!" and get the hell out of the way. But Jerry doesn't get it and comes home and crows to Irene about his pants' popularity and how he plans to pick up another pair this weekend.

I'm convinced The Rule of the Plaid Pants is why so many men insist upon wearing their cheap designer lighter-fluid, because everyone says, "Great cologne!" None of them mean it, not the Hooters waitresses, the strippers, the cute girls in class. They're simply stunned and they can't think of anything else to say.


But I'll grant you, yours doesn't quite sound like a case of The Rule of the Plaid Pants. And, besides, I gave Silver Factory its first wearing in ages and, you're right, it's not too terrible. Especially once it begins to fade. I still get plenty of incense and violet and, yes, iris, and I do think all of the Bonds are "artificial on purpose." I hold none of this against the perfume, I just don't like smelling it very much. But I can't quite sell it because of that damn bottle. It looks good.

Dan



Dan,

Save your pity, Rolleri, because when the paint store guy smelled me, it was leftover Silver Factory, waaaaaay after I'd first sprayed it, and after a sweaty yoga class, even. So it definitely wasn't the "Quick! Say something!" reaction that keeps polite society moving forward.

I'd say it was a tribute to the Silver Factory drydown, which does seem to be the very best part of the fragrance, and to its credit, lasts...and lasts...and LASTS.

Katie



Katie,

That's one thing about all of the Bonds I've tried: none are fleeting. (And some of the bottles are nice.)

This is highly personal and probably not reflective of society at large (unlike The Rule of the Plaid Pants), but when I smell a scent I like on a woman, I'm too embarrassed to say anything. I suddenly feel like opening doors for her or pulling out chairs or buying her things, but I can't mention the perfume. Show not tell, as they say in writing workshops.

I once worked with a woman who wore an incredible perfume, soft and buttery and billowy, it moved across space. If I tried to draw you a picture of the perfume, it would have to be several pictures, maybe an entire flipbook.


To pick up the telephone after she had used it was a sumptuous experience. (I almost fell in love with her telephone receiver.) But I never asked her what it was, never once mentioned the perfume. It was uncomfortably good.

Maybe your paint-store fellow felt the same way about Silver Factory (and sweat) and he's just more bold than I am.

Dan


Read Bond No. 9 Silver Factory (Part One) here.

Plaid pants via
Gumball machine via
Hooters Girl via

42 comments:

  1. You Know, Here in Orange County, (Irvine, Newport Beach, South Coast Plaza type people) the mentality of most people is one of a Corporate mentality. Just like in Japan, if you stick your head up, you're gonna get it pounded down.

    I've always worn clothes that were emphatically *NOT* corporate in nature. Maybe colorful, maybe artistic, maybe handmade, natural, often brown. These folks tell me that I have to dress in a manner acceptable to them. And then, You should see the way I am dismissed by the Arts crowd in Galleries in Los Angeles as a Hick. You should see how I am dissed when I walk around that stupid town of San Francisco, where everybody only wears Black.

    Good for Jerry for wearing what HE wants to wear, and not for wearing what the world around him THINKS he should be wearing. I'm really damn tired of all these people groups telling me that I have to dress just like them to be accepted into their CLUB...!

    I wear what I WANT TO WEAR!!!

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  2. Yay for you, and yay for Jerry! Jerry is becoming a hero for individuality. Be a fashion victor, not a fashion victim!

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  3. My dad, like many men from West Virginia, is also named Jerry. However, he does not wear plaid pants. But he is enough of an individual to carry a pink lunchbox to work with him every day and not care what anyone thought. He can also identify brands of tractors by smell. I am not joking.

    Sorry, back to fragrance. Dan, I would encourage you to speak up when you like a fragrance. That way you can come back to us with a full report. Whenever people comment on something I'm wearing, it is very flattering.

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  4. I love the sound of Pa Jerry with the pink lunchbox, Nora! And olfactory identification of tractors is just about the most specialized talent I've ever heard of.

    I was frustrated that Dan didn't have any details on the sumptuous smell on the telephone receiver. Imagine loving perfume as much as he does and not nailing down such an important detail? By contrast, I'll chase someone down the street to ask about their purple pedicure.

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  5. Yay for Jerry's plaid pants! But I'm not so sure about the white belt on Jerry No. 1 on the left. My husband isn't named Jerry, but if he wore that belt, either in or out of the house, I would probably just sit there with a stunned look on my face. I don't know that I could even muster up the words to object. Maybe I would take the mental health day.

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  6. It's cracking me up that people are repurposing Dan's attempt at a perfume life lesson into a battle cry for homespun individuality.

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  7. Count me in for another serious fashion flag-waving eff-up. I wear overalls, and by overalls, I mean overalls that are five sizes too large for me. With pajama tops. Or pajama bottoms and a denim jacket when the mood strikes.

    Those Dupont Dacron pants upthread are amazing, especially the blue pair. If they were flared, then they would be perfect. For my brown leather work boots that is.

    By the way, Dupont Dacron is my new "checking into a hotel without all the media fuss" name.

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  8. Dupont Dacron is a stand-up guy. I hear it from his girlfriend Poly Esther.

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  9. Melisa--No. You wouldn't look at him in stunned silence. You would give him a high-five as the two of you were on your way to go bowling.

    Paul: Good for you, wearing what you want to wear. But the real question is, what do you smell like? Have you totally gone "down the rabbit hole," as Katie likes to say? Do you pick up a fragrance, make a face and say, "Oh, yuck. That smells like a kim chee and formaldehyde sandwich. Oh, it's supposed to? Okay, then."

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  10. That kimchee and formaldehyde sandwich I had for lunch is repeating on me. But at least my organs are preserved.

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  11. Actually, Katie - Dupont is currently being seen around with Patty O'Furniture.

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  12. Well in that case, Dupont Dracon's a double knit double crosser.

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  13. ah, but he's a devil-may-care double-knit double crosser, dare I say.

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  14. Nora-You're right! Damn the mental health day. To the bowling alley we go. If I can drag my husband out of the pool hall. Where he carries the most hell-raising, cowboy-looking case for his cue sticks that I've seen, well, outside of a pool hall.

    Stefush, I think those blue plaid pants would look so much better with work boots! Not sure if they would work with a pajama top though.

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  15. Melisand61 -

    The best thing about fashion is knowing you can make anything work; it's 99 percent attitude. If you have an idea, you just have to find the right combination of stuff to pull it off.

    The best thing about incorporating sleepwear into your everyday wardrobe is that it opens up a ton of patterns, fabrics and textures you can't get in regular clothing. Those blue pants above would pair nicely with a really traditional-looking light blue men's pajama top, the kind with a shawl collar and big buttons.

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  16. Yes, Stefush. Yes. Wear the blue plaid pants, and the pj top. I showed my five-year-old son the photo of Jerry Plaid Pants, and he said, "Hey, babeh! Check out my ultimate plaid pants!"

    You could be that man, Stefush. You could be the man declaring that others must check out your--dare I say it?--ULTIMATE plaid pants.

    It will be catnip for the ladies.

    *rrrowrrr*

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  17. "Hey, babeh! Check out my ultimate plaid pants!"

    Priceless. Sounds like your 5-year-old is earning his keep.

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  18. To Stefush and Nora's 5 year old son:

    My husband and his pool cues officially thank you!

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  19. "Priceless. Sounds like your 5-year-old is earning his keep."

    Yes. Typically he does so by clanging cymbals together whilst dancing and wearing a red fez. His witticisms are just the icing on the cake.

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  20. A red fez and clanging cymbals? Nora, are you entirely sure your 5-year-old isn't a monkey?

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  21. I have often been mistaken for a five-year old monkey. Even after I buy people drinks and everything. It's always, "Nope, nope. Still the monkey, still that little baby monkey."

    One day the world will respect my tears, one day...

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  22. "Boy, that little baby monkey can really hold his liquor!"

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  23. I told my husband I would love for him to wear more plaid pants. But as a sports oriented rocket scientist, I think thst is unlikely to come to pass.

    Rock on with your plaid pants Jerry! Viva la individuality!

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  24. Stefush, it seems that you have been mistaken for a multitude of interesting characters, animals and all manners of matter. The world owes you a drink.

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  25. I am vast; I contain multitudes.

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  26. Maggie: The only thing that would make plaid pants cooler would be if you could rip them away, like those weird, loud athletic pants. And then underneath the tear-away plaid pants...more plaid pants.

    That will convince your husband to wear them.

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  27. Oh and the swishy quality when he walks... That would sell it to me too, as he has ninja like qualities.

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  28. A ninja in plaid is a brave, confident ninja.

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  29. OH those PANTS! And that BELT! And those SHOES! Wherever did you find that catalog?

    Oh, and "I suddenly feel like opening doors for her or pulling out chairs or buying her things..." I have noticed that reaction -- well, the first two anyway -- when I wear (some of) my perfumes. Odd that nobody talks about this aspect of perfume-wearing! Until now that is.

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  30. I hear you, Olfacta - one of my friends told me the other afternoon, "Hey, Stefush, you smell good! You ALWAYS smell good!"

    This is why I can't understand why more men in particular don't get on the Fumehead train. Baby steps, I guess. Cologne is really the icing on the Well-Dressed Man cake.

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  31. I will have to say...I am a very plaid pants kind of guy...yes I see the stares sometimes..but I wear them proud. :) and damn I love when someone notices I smell different than the regular non plaid crowd...

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  32. Olfacta, Stefush, onesmalldog--which perfumes do you wear and which ones do people seem to notice?

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  33. Nora B. - I wear everything from Shalimar to Diptyche to Guerlain to Insert-Your-Indie-Scent-Du-Jour here to stuff I make myself. I never know what it will be until the moment I put something on.

    It doesn't seem to make much difference in the noticing, either. I'm just kind of known for being the Dude Who Digs Fragrance in my set, and people just have come to expect I'll smell like something interesting each time.

    What I would like to know from you all is (especially the menfolk here), how is your love of scent seen by the people you know? As a charming eccentricity, something strange, as latent effimacy, etc? My friends at the start of all this were saying stuff like, "I don't see perfume coming from YOU!" like in Seinfeld, but who are now sending me articles, asking my advice and asking for my homebrew scents.

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  34. Olfacta, Dan's "I suddenly feel like opening doors for her or pulling out chairs or buying her things..." is my favorite part of this episode: a perfume that addles the brain to the extent that one can fall in love with a telephone receiver. Perfume as a behavior modification tool.

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  35. i am proud to say I have actually turned some guys on to thinking about scent when they never did before...my partner just is use to the influx of bottles..:).

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  36. Nora-i am a fan of Etat Libre d’Orange, Le Labo (OUD), Frederic Malle(Dans tes Bras), and have been getting compliments for Absolue Pour Le Sur lately...I also a fan of Mona di Orio CUIR

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  37. Stefush. They live!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZccIAg_N2Q

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  38. Maggie: My world. It has been rocked.

    Okay, in a last-ditch effort to salvage poor Katie's thread and bring this conversation back to perfumes, I will say that for maximum-chair-pulling-out-for-ladies effectiveness action, New Look 1947 by Christian Dior.

    I feel lame when I reference the same perfume twice. Because I'm insecure. But it is simply gorgeous. I crave it. AND! "Say Yes to Carrots" vitamin C eye cream smells a lot like it, strangely enough.

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  39. Nora: now you have rocked my world. With one google of "new look 1947" I am utterly enchanted, beguiled, and charmed by the aesthetic of the Dior "New Look". The hats, narrow waists, and flared skirts... Why can't women still dress like this? I must smell the perfume that calls this fashion to mind.

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  40. Maggie--

    I am completely in love with this scent. Even if, instead of those beautiful items of clothing it was associated with leisure suits, I'd still want to lick my arms to death after applying it.

    Is it possible to lick one's arms to death? Perhaps. But that is a topic for another time.

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