It seems like almost every guy who promotes Musc Ravageur on Basenotes talks about its power to attract women. And, yes, they all have a stupid story to share about a stripper or a Hooters waitress loving their cologne. (I'm still waiting for the first woman who loves Musc Ravageur on one of these guys and isn't working for tips.)
It's like they're living in some pre-scientific era when boys bought magic elixirs from the backs of comic books. The perfume community is awfully depressing when you only pay attention to the straight-male segment of it. Though I suppose that goes for any community.
Does it seem like I'm grumpy today? It's almost summer and it's 48 degrees and raining in San Francisco. To hell with picking up women, I need a perfume that will pick me up! I'm going to look through my Van Cleef & Arpels samples. I'll let you know what I find.
Gardenia Petale is the one for you today.
No Gardenia Petale today because I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. And, yes, I boast about being able to wear almost anything and, yes, this is San Francisco and, yes, my dentist is gay, and yet I can't quite chance it. I'm wearing Hermès Brin de Réglisse.
Hope your teeth are fine and please try Gardenia Petale.
Today was the day and here's what I thought: Gardenia Petale is Tom Ford Velvet Gardenia after a strict liquid diet. It has the same gardenia center but it's both more green and more sheer. Though everything is more sheer than Velvet Gardenia. Velvet Gardenia is gardenia and lead. (I say we should put most of those Tom Fords on a liquid diet.)
But it's difficult to say anything beyond that. Gardenia is one of those smells that almost always smells the same. Like all Coldplay songs sound the same. If I'm forced to choose, if I'm under duress, I'd probably favor one Coldplay song over others. But it would be difficult. And unlikely. I mean, who cares so much about Coldplay that they'd put anyone under duress? Except by playing Coldplay. That's its own form of duress.
But Gardenia Petale? It's nice and perfectly pitched for spring, long-lived and almost pugnaciously pleasant, but is it worth owning? What if you just spray your Carnal Flower very lightly? Or use the Carnal Flower body butter? (Look at me suggesting ancillary products!)
I know I'm the least qualified person in the world to be asking this question, but is Gardenia Petale special enough? Does anyone need several Coldplay albums? And don't you dare bring up all my woody florals or my beachy scents or that I own every song ever recorded by The Mamas and the Papas. This is about you and gardenia, KP, so let's stay focused.
Can you definitively declare Gardenia Petale a front-line gardenia? Because I say, respectfully of course, you're not a multiple gardenia woman. Not yet anyway. Elizabeth Taylor is a multiple gardenia woman. The late Margaret Dumont was definitely a multiple gardenia woman. And it wouldn't surprise me if Imelda Marcos has as many gardenias as she has shoes.
But you? I just don't smell "heady tropical florals" when I think of you. Though you do like that Jasmin Noir, so maybe I'm entirely wrong. Notice that no matter how strong my opinion, I always come around to suggesting I might be wrong? Saying nothing at all would have the same impact. Which I suppose is the one thing I have in common with Coldplay. Hey, how did this become about me again? Let's stay focused, KP!
Read Perfume Pen Pals: Van Cleef & Arpels Gardenia Petale Part 1 here.