I wore Amouage Epic Man today. Who knows where I got the sample but, wow, it's a lot of scent. Eight hours in and I still smell fully cologned. You MUST try it. Amouage Gold Man packs a punch but the boxing gloves are filled with baby powder.
But Epic Man is substantive shit. And more complex than Ulysses. It's the perfume equivalent of Ulysses!
Look at that ingredient list: frankincense, cumin, cardamom, saffron, nutmeg, myrtle, geranium, myrrh, oud, sandalwood, patchouli, leather, cedarwood, musk. I swear, I can smell every one of those things, tumbling out in phase after phase. It's somehow both layered and crystal clear, none of that mushy stuff you complain about in perfumes. Excellent.
Yes yes yes, and indeed, YES! Epic Man. Yes. As soon as I smelled it, I loved it. And SERIOUSLY wanted to buy it. It's sort of a "nude oud" -- not too Band-Aid-y, mixed in with gorgeous other things that amount to a very fancy skin scent.
Two different times I went into Scent Bar and kind of overdid it when I applied it, which isn't a good idea because it starts to smell vaguely beefy. Like Epic Man should have been Burger King Flame:
Now I'm going to put on my samp of Epic Man, even though I'm already wearing Malle Musc Ravageur Oil. I'm thinking Epic and MR could work together. I know the sound of it makes you barf, probably.
Yes, Epic with MR is more than sickening, it's reckless.
I'm tellin' you, eleven hours in and Epic Man is still moving. I read an interview with the creative director, Christopher Chung, and he said he wanted it to smell like an old leather Chinese travel trunk. But it's so much more. This is easily my favorite oud.
I'm thinking about getting this. Problem is with Amouage, the 50 ml size costs only slightly less than the 100 ml. Maybe I'll sell off some perfumes.
Yes, in for a penny, in for pound. As ridiculous as it is to spend so much money on an Amouage, it's more ridiculous to not buy the most expensive version, only because you get so much more for not much more. I'm not going to re-read that, and will just trust that it makes sense. Can you believe, after wearing them together, Epic Man crushed Musc Ravageur like a bug! All I can smell is Epic Man. And maybe a little Epic Steak. This thing is savory. Wow, a little sure goes a long way. That's part of the whole epic-ness, I guess.
You should stage Perfume Death Match, with a round-robin layering tournament to determine the strongest perfume in the world. Why? I don't know. It's dumb. But dumb-funny.
I am surprised by how quickly Musc Ravageur folded. That's one of the only perfumes I distinctly smelled on myself the next day. And, as you might imagine, I wasn't happy about it. It was the smell equivalent of ringing in your ears.
Was it a fair fight? How long had Musc Ravageur been on? These fights need to be sanctioned, y'know. "it's more ridiculous to not buy the most expensive version, only because you get so much more for not much more."
This is also funny because you could easily be eleven and writing about buying soda at Burger King. Putting on Epic Man yesterday, after days of sampling random things, was like stepping out of a Honda and into a luxury jet. The others were crushed, like bugs! Like Hondas! (At this point, I have no idea what I'm saying.)
So sit tight because I'm gonna buy it. And, of course, you will benefit with decants. Oh, and I owe you some Czech & Speake Cuba, too, which is also a substantial thing, though not nearly as substantial as Epic Man so it's pointless to even mention it in this paragraph, to mention anything else in this paragraph, this is an Epic Man paragraph, dammit!
Epic Man makes me feel "too full" when I spray too much on.
The obsessiveness of all this Epic Man business makes me think of an old interview with Bob Dylan. It was during one of his fallow periods in the early-90s, and when asked about making new music, he scoffed and said the world already has enough songs, more than it can ever listen to.
Same with perfume, right? And yet how depressed would you be, with your dozens of bottles, if you knew you could have no new perfume for a year? I know how depressed I'd be. So perfume is an emotional pursuit. But also an intellectual one. And yet it's unarguably a frivolous little thing, one that sometimes takes priority over more important things. A frivolous priority.
That's always an interesting angle, like the old men in their engineer hats playing with model trains. So, I bought Epic Man. All I need now is an engineer hat.
But wearing Epic Man now, it's even stronger and richer than I had remembered. I'm afraid it's growing hair.