Fumes in the News: Chasing Tail

Scent connoisseurs come in all flavors: mild, regular, and extra-strength. Among the harder-core fumeheads, there’s an element of posturing over the level of stank one can stand.

If you’re down with gusset-busters like Vivienne Westwood Boudoir or barnyard buddies like L’Artisan Parfumeur Dzing!, you tend toward an illogical “skankier than thou” sense of superiority.

But once you’ve graduated from the diapered delights of Le Labo Oud 27, Guerlain Jicky, and Serge Lutens Muscs Koublai Khan, where do you go from there? I’ll tell you where -- to the Co-op Supermarket in Plymouth, England!

That’s where an unknown man was caught on security camera taking opportunistic sniffs of a shelf-stacker’s hindquarters as he “shopped” on October 31, 2009. Obviously impressed by the employee’s base notes, the tush-huffer returned a week later for another evaluation.

The shelf-stacker, commendably focused on his job, was oblivious at first.

"I'm used to having customers around me and having arms stretched out, but I did not look up until the end," he said. "I had no idea what was going on. I thought it was all a bit strange.”

Close analysis of the CCTV footage shows the perp employing the time-honored “reach-around” technique, along with an ingenious “squat and swoop” tactic to score maximum face-time with the stacker’s ass.

The police are classifying the incident as a sexual assault, seemingly unaware of the lengths animalic aficionados will go to satisfy their hankering for a truly feral drydown.

Thanks to Sean Priest for the story tip.


  1. I'll watch my back now in the Stafford branch... though that "squat and swoop" manoeuvre is so smooth I might not notice either for a bit.

    Oh and Happy New Year, folks!

  2. I'll watch my back in our Stafford (VA, USA) branch too. :)

    I do think that once I noticed though, I would have to perform a swift kick to the schnozz.

  3. Yes, I thought of you, M. : - )

    Perhaps one day all fumeheads will live in a Stafford?

  4. Happy New Year to you all! I saw my New Year in reeking of a standing bath of Montale White Aoud, my cozy winter fave.

    melisand61 - I'm from Northern VA!

  5. Hmm, small world, my daughter once lived in Stafford, VA. I am in Herndon, VA. Happy New Year, fumeheads!

  6. Katie, how nice to know that. There is a very nice fragrance community here (No VA, MD, DC) with a blogger or two and quite a few who comment on the blogs.

    ScentsofSmell, do you go to the Art with Flower events at the Galleria?

    FS, let me know when you want to visit your sister town, such as it is. Washington DC is much more exciting though, and just 45 minutes north!

  7. I really would like to make it over one day! I have been to DC and VA a few times on business, but never really had time to linger. In fact, if people did not mind the "blind" nature of the encounter, one could envisage - time and money permitting! - a coast to coast road trip calling in on perfumistas from the various blogs in pretty much every state! : - ) I have been on "blind sniffing dates" with perfumistas in London and Hamburg, so I guess it would just be a somewhat grander plan...

  8. melisand61, I haven't been to the galleria event. When is it held? I used to work down the street from the galleria, and yet didn't go there much - maybe lunch now and then.
    FS, your idea of a cross-country road trip sounds intriguing. And going to Hamburg for sniffing dates reminds me of how much I enjoyed Germany. I have lived in both Berlin and Hanau and visited many cities across Europe. My daughter was born in Frankfurt. It has been a long time, but the memories are fresh.

  9. Hey y'all! I love the "blind perfume date" idea! Maybe I'll give you VA homegirls a shout-out when I'm next in the area.

    And I only recently learned of Art with Flowers - haven't been there, though.

    I read on Perfume Posse of a Perfume Party - were any of you a part of that? That looked like a hoot!