Shooting from the Lip
My rip-snortin’ jaunt from ballet girl to punkette to pop singer to TV host & all the messy stuff in between
Perfumes: The A-Z Guide
Witty and provocative reviews of 1,800+ perfumes
What the Nose Knows
A fun and quirky romp through everyday smells
A cultural history of smell
The Emperor of Scent
Maverick Luca Turin's entertaining tussles with perfume and science
The Perfect Scent
An insider's look at the creation of two bestselling fragrances
A Natural History of the Senses
An aphrodisiac for all five senses
The Secret of ScentLuca Turin's scientific look at perfume
Essence and AlchemyThe voluptuous history of natural perfume.
Scent connoisseurs come in all flavors: mild, regular, and extra-strength. Among the harder-core fumeheads, there’s an element of posturing over the level of stank one can stand.
If you’re down with gusset-busters like Vivienne Westwood Boudoir or barnyard buddies like L’Artisan Parfumeur Dzing!, you tend toward an illogical “skankier than thou” sense of superiority.
But once you’ve graduated from the diapered delights of Le Labo Oud 27, Guerlain Jicky, and Serge Lutens Muscs Koublai Khan, where do you go from there? I’ll tell you where -- to the Co-op Supermarket in Plymouth, England!
That’s where an unknown man was caught on security camera taking opportunistic sniffs of a shelf-stacker’s hindquarters as he “shopped” on October 31, 2009. Obviously impressed by the employee’s base notes, the tush-huffer returned a week later for another evaluation.
The shelf-stacker, commendably focused on his job, was oblivious at first.
"I'm used to having customers around me and having arms stretched out, but I did not look up until the end," he said. "I had no idea what was going on. I thought it was all a bit strange.”
Close analysis of the CCTV footage shows the perp employing the time-honored “reach-around” technique, along with an ingenious “squat and swoop” tactic to score maximum face-time with the stacker’s ass.
The police are classifying the incident as a sexual assault, seemingly unaware of the lengths animalic aficionados will go to satisfy their hankering for a truly feral drydown.
Thanks to Sean Priest for the story tip.