So I received a Yosh sample in my Barney's bag and, get this, it was unmarked. It came attached to a Yosh card, which listed all of the Yosh fragrances and the Yosh website, but nothing to indicate what was in the vial. I put it on anyway. Cuz that's how I roll.
Ick. Fruity but not in the best way, the way complex perfumes smell. More in the way a sachet in your aunt's dresser drawers might smell, the way everything that comes out of her bedroom might smell.
And cucumber! I smelled cucumber, realistic cucumber, like fresh cucumber juice had been spilled all over my arms. I smelled like I had an accident with cucumbers and my aunt had come rushing in from her bedroom to dry me off with a towel from her dresser. I smelled like a bad day with my aunt. (Truth be told, I don't have an aunt.)
Then I noticed the faintest of lines on the Yosh sample card, almost like a mistake, running beneath U4EAHH!. Which I guess means I'd been stunk up by U4EAHH! What an arrogant way to present perfume samples.
All those bad vibes aside, Yosh uses a similar non-alcohol method as CB I Hate Perfumes, in which the perfume goes on a little oily, but doesn't suffer those harsh first seconds. It's all smooth sailing. U4EAHH! even smells like a CB, all hyper-realistic, like a faithful painting of the Golden Gate Bridge.
Except perfume, like painting, is usually best when it's abstract, when it isn't the equivalent of a first-year art student sitting in front of the bridge with a sketchbook. I like cucumber but I don't want to BE cucumber. Though maybe that's the abstraction: it's so true-to-life it can't help being abstract because who would walk around smelling like a cucumber? And pretending he has an aunt?
Wow! Sounds like U4EAHH! has really taken you on a journey. Admittedly, a journey where you’re cranky and kicking the back of the driver’s seat and whining “Are we there, yet?” a hundred times in the first five minutes.
As Yosh says, “fragrance is feeling”. It would seem that at the moment, you’re feeling like a cucumber. For others, U4EAHH!’s feeling is like Jolly Rancher apple candy. The superfans find it uplifting, buttery, and in at least one torrid instance, “babymaking”. I would guess that your pretend aunt falls into the latter category.